fighter

i have known myself for 6479 days.

i've looked in a mirror at least that many times.

it's safe to say i know myself.

the small faded scar on my forehead,

my right eye that is always more squinty than the left when i smile,

the tiny new hairs growing out of my part that never stay down, 
the shade of green my eyes turn after i've been crying. 

i know it all but i wonder what i would think 
if today i were to see myself for the first time.

would i think she is beautiful
 she is happy,
she has everything going for her,

why can't i be like her?

i can't count the times i have met someone 
and thought those same things.
allowed comparison to spring up inside me
and envy to quietly flood my mind,
subconsciously or not.

but i've started to realize my mistake.

everyone wrestles with their own demons, 

that battle can be exhausting

each day we get up in the morning is a success. 
i hope if i were to see myself for the first time today i would think

this one is a fighter.
i want to be like her.